Britney Spears Reflects on Losing Time With Her Sons: “The Hardest Years of My Life”

The pop icon opens up about her marriage to Sam Asghari, her healing journey, and the painful years of being separated from her children

Los Angeles, Aug. 24 — Britney Spears is once again letting fans into the most vulnerable corners of her life, this time opening up about what she calls the “hardest years” she has ever endured.

In a heartfelt Instagram post shared on Sunday, the 43-year-old pop legend reflected on her marriage to actor and fitness trainer Sam Asghari, describing the relationship as a “fake distraction” during a period when she was “cut off” from her two sons, Sean Preston (19) and Jayden James (18), whom she shares with ex-husband Kevin Federline.

“We’re just people so fragile and human… the hardest years of my life were my two sons gone for those 3 years,” Spears wrote. “I was cut off from calling or texting and I remember in shock my secret to survival was denial and a lot of tears… It’s weird, me and Sam were married but it almost felt like a fake distraction to help me deal with it.”

A painful marriage, a fragile survival

Spears married Asghari in June 2022 in a star-studded California wedding. Just over a year later, in August 2023, the couple separated, finalizing their divorce in May 2024. Looking back, Spears now admits that her marriage coincided with one of the most emotionally devastating chapters of her life.

Despite the heartbreak, Spears revealed she has recently begun noticing signs of healing. “Well I know I’m healing because I’m hungry again, like a child or baby… when I eat, it’s like it’s my first time ever eating in my life,” she confessed. “I believe although I loved my home, there is waaay too much abuse and trauma in there.”

Reconnecting with her sons

In recent months, Spears has slowly been reconnecting with Sean and Jayden, who have lived with Federline in Hawaii since 2023.

Back in June 2024, Spears posted a rare, joyful update — a video of herself riding shotgun as Jayden drove. She marveled at how much her son had grown, writing: “He is 6’3 and his hands are so big now!!! How long am I going to be in shock??? I’m blessed!!! Just please be careful with my heart too!!!”

In May 2024, around Mother’s Day, Federline’s attorney, Mark Vincent Kaplan, confirmed that Spears was finally able to speak with her boys on the phone — a small but hopeful step forward.

“Obviously a reconciliation or reunification is somewhat complex and can be a process that takes some time,” Kaplan told PEOPLE. He clarified that while Britney had not yet flown to Hawaii to see them in person, the phone call marked “a step in the right direction.”

A complicated but hopeful family journey

The relationship between Spears and her sons has not always been easy. In a 2022 interview, Jayden admitted that while he and Sean had complicated feelings toward their mom, he believed healing was possible: “I 100 percent think this can be fixed.”

Federline’s attorney previously shared that Britney gave her blessing when Kevin asked if the boys could move to Hawaii with him and his wife in May 2023, saying Spears “always faithfully supported her children and wants them to be happy.”

Now, as Spears continues to heal from her past, her recent reflections reveal a woman still scarred by trauma but deeply hopeful about love, family, and a future where she can rebuild a stronger bond with her sons.

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