Actress Sonali Kulkarni has candidly spoken about one of the most emotional moments of her career. She revealed that losing the 1997 National Film Award for Best Actress to Tabu left her disappointed and jealous at the time.
Sonali was nominated for her performance in Daayra, while Tabu won the prestigious honour for her role in Maachis.
Looking back after several years, Sonali admitted that her perspective has completely changed. She now considers Tabu one of the finest actresses in Indian cinema.
Sonali says she was jealous of award winners
During an appearance on Screen Spotlight, Sonali Kulkarni spoke honestly about the emotions she experienced early in her acting career.
“I was jealous of everyone who was winning awards,” she admitted.
She explained that many of her films reached the final rounds of the National Film Awards, but she repeatedly missed out on the top honour.
“Every year, my films were considered among the best in the final rounds of the National Awards. Every year, I felt disappointed. At that time, I really wanted a National Award. I was winning other awards, but the one you don’t get is the one you crave the most,” she said.
She believed Tabu won because of her family background
Sonali also recalled that she initially believed Tabu’s industry connections had influenced the decision.
According to the actress, she told herself, “She’s from the industry na.”
She admitted that she assumed Tabu received the award because she is the niece of veteran actress Shabana Azmi, a multiple National Award winner.
However, Sonali later realised that her thoughts were driven by disappointment rather than reality.
Watching Maachis changed her opinion
Determined to understand why Tabu had won, Sonali decided to watch Maachis.
She said the film completely changed her perspective.
“I was so angry and jealous of Tabu that I finally went and watched Maachis. When I watched her films, it helped me deal with the insecurities and desperation I had,” Sonali revealed.
She described Tabu’s performance as graceful, controlled, and deeply impactful.
Tabu’s performances inspired Sonali
After watching Maachis, Sonali went on to explore more of Tabu’s work, including Astitva and Chandni Bar.
She admitted that every performance left a lasting impression on her.
“Her performance was so sleek that it gave me joy. It also had so much command that it helped me come to terms with my own life and abilities. Every time I watched Tabu in Maachis, Astitva and Chandni Bar, I fell in love with her performance,” she said.
Her outlook changed with experience
Sonali said that, over time, she stopped chasing awards and began focusing on improving her craft.
She believes that as a young actor, she wanted to express every emotion with maximum intensity. However, experience taught her the importance of subtle performances, especially in cinema.
“At the beginning of your career, you want to perform every emotion intensely. You don’t understand subtlety. Now I understand the difference between theatre acting and film acting. I have no complaints anymore. I’ve come to terms with myself,” she shared.
She eventually received National Award recognition
Although Sonali missed out on the Best Actress award in 1997, she later received national recognition.
She won the Special Jury Award at the 2002 National Film Awards for Kranti Kanade’s Marathi short film Chaitra.
Today, Sonali says her ambitions have evolved. Instead of chasing awards, she hopes to one day share the screen with Tabu, an actress she now deeply admires.